I Believe in Losing
In the halls of my elementary school in Massachusetts, there was a poster that said, “Life is a journey, not a race.” From kindergarten through fifth grade, I walked by that poster every day. I read it a thousand times, but I never really understood what it meant.
I grew up with a twin brother, and everything was a competition—Which of us would get off the bus first? Who would score the most goals on our soccer teams? Even who would get the wrinkled dollar bills instead of coins for lunch money became a competition.
As I got older, the competition between my brother and me started to fade. But without the struggle between the two of us, I wanted to win in everything else I did. School became my new competitive venue, and for the most part I succeeded. It was rare when I didn’t get an A on a paper or test, and report cards were no problem.
But then I started swimming, and suddenly I wasn’t perfect anymore. I got cut from the high school swim team my freshman year. I made it the next year, but I didn’t swim in districts. Even though my times got faster and I worked hard every day in practice, I never won one race. My world was suddenly full of second-bests and average performances. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t win.
Then one day, I asked my coach why my times were so slow. He said, “You know what? Your times are faster than what 99% of the population could do.” While his numbers may not have been exactly right… he had a point. There would always be someone better than me, but I would always be better than someone out there too. There is no absolute prize any of us can achieve -- no fastest, or smartest, or strongest. Just when you think you’ve won, there’s another competition. If winning is your only goal, then you’ll never be happy – in swimming or in life.
Once I realized winning is not the way to achieve happiness, I started to take things slower. I made sure I was doing things for the right reasons. I still swim, but I do it because of the friends I’ve made and the confidence I’ve gained. I swim because I love it, not because I want to win.
I don’t compare myself to other people anymore. I now know improving on my personal best is all that matters. I finally understand second place is ultimately much more valuable than first. I believe in losing, because in learning to lose, I have learned to identify what’s really worth fighting for in life.
I finally understand that poster from elementary school -- I believe in the journey, not the race.
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