I Believe in the Feminine Touch

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I believe that a woman’s place is in the home. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that women shouldn’t work or that men shouldn’t help out around the house. But I believe that the woman is the one who makes the house a home. No matter how humble or how grand, it’s the feminine touch that makes the difference.

My parents were old fashioned. My dad earned the money to support the family and my mother did everything around the house. When cancer took her two years ago, my father had to learn how to us the dishwasher, washer and dryer, even how to write checks – at the age of 88. He berates himself for using mom as a slave for all those years. I reassure him that she never felt like a slave. She loved her life and he was the one who provided her with the privilege of taking care of her family and home. My mother was a master at creating a sense of home. The coffee was always ready with cookies or cake to make visitors and family feel special and welcome.

I believe women have a natural nesting instinct, especially after we become mothers. It’s primarily women who provide the feeling of family. We hold the family together by remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and all the special occasions that create the extraordinary feeling of unconditional love and belonging. Quite possibly I feel this way because that’s been my experience.

I wasn’t blessed with a good marriage like my parents were. I was the first in my family to divorce. Back then I felt like a scarlet D was tattooed to my forehead, though I’d done what I needed to do to save my children and myself. I was on my own raising 3 children while working and going to school so I could get a better job. Still I tried to follow my mother’s example of creating the best possible home for my children. I always rushed home after work and classes to provide a safe haven for my children.

I believe a divorced woman must convey to her children that the divorce was not their fault. I never made negative comments about my children’s absent father. I always tried to set an optimistic tone in the home for the good of my family. Mothers are their children’s first teacher, and they teach by example.

Certainly men make their own unique contributions to a family And a happy, healthy marriage is a great foundation for a home. But not all marriages end up the way we hope they will when we take our vows. If a marriage falls apart, the woman is usually the one who must step in to maintain a safe and supportive home for her children.

I believe that most of what a woman does to create a home is noticed only when it’s not done. You’re thinking, “a thankless endeavor,” yet creating a home for my family was my crowning glory. After all, it’s the little things a woman does that make a house a home.

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